Weekend and better

27 Aug

This past weekend my husband got a small taste of what all I had been going through with our daughter.  Whew!  

We also talked and aired out the dirty laundry.  Ever since then things are sooo much better.  We are more open  with each other and most importantly we are talking.  I told him EVERYTHING that I was feeling Wednesday aka the hell day and thinking and what all happened.  There was no judgement, no yelling, no condemnations, nothing.  We are now on the same page so to speak..  We understand each other better now and he now understand what all is going on in our lives.  

 

I admit I jumped to a bit of a conclusion with my husband thinking i had no support but, it turns out I really do.  

 I did take a bit of my mother in laws advise and am giving our daughter an apparently much needed break once she gets home from school.  

I also understand where all some of her judgement came from and am not as mad as I was with her.  My husband is another matter.  Ah well, she inserted leg in mouth and really made him mad.  He has yet to confront her with what she said.  

 Today I went for a lovely massage.   I was wanting to have one once we got settled but, with my injury which is finally feeling better and i am convinced that the massage helped.  It feels a bit better.  

Quotes

22 Aug

“Life is a lemon and I want my money back”-Meatloaf

 “Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken”-Fight Club 

“To be nobody but yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting”- EE Cummings

See yesterday was a really, really bad day and I do not have any support.  I thought I did with my mother in law but, alas no.  She called yesterday after our daughter passed out. She asked how I was doing and I told her I was trying.  Then she told me what type of person I am  not exactly a bad thing.  Then she told me how to fix things. Not exactly what I needed at the time.  She also threw something in my face that I thought was resolved.  

 Let me back up a bit and explain.  My daughter came home from school, had a snack, and then we did her homework.  We got to the Very last thing she needed to do before everything went wrong in a huge way.  She screamed and yelled at me, she threw a pencil at me.  I went down in the basement while she was screaming and shut the door.  Wow!!!!  

Then at wits end I really was wanting to just get away for a day even one night so I put in a call to a bed and breakfast trying to see how much it would be for a night.  My daughter demanded to know what I was doing, who I called, what it was about and she would not stop asking.  So I “lied” and told her I was calling to see how much I needed to save for our anniversary.  I did try to tell her it was none of her business but, after all that I had just been through I decided the small lie was better than more drama.  

 

I have learned with my family , my in laws, and husband that NO one wants to hear any of the bad they want me especially to shit or fart rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns along with the ability to be a mind reader.  Hence the need for a few quotes as a gentle reminder to myself and others that NO Matter what everyone else wants even the impossible mentioned above it is not possible and you just have to be yourself no matter what.  It would be nice if I had this ability but alas I am sadly lacking in this department.  

The world is full of beauty, passion, dirt, grit, war, and famine.  You just have to be strong enough to see the beauty and passion along with having the guts or machismo to deal with all the shit in between.  

 

I have had to call a friend long distance to get any support what so ever from someone. After a lot of tears, confessions, and just laying my soul bear that she still is there for me and still supports me.  This is not easy for me at all not one bit of it .  I pray to the Gods that my daughter does NOT have any more homework tonight because I do not think I can handle anymore.  I really dont without something giving.  

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

21 Aug

Last week was really difficult mainly because we are all getting used to a  new sleep and wake schedule.  

My daughter was more Mr. Hyde when I would have dealt much better with Dr. Jekyll.  This week it was explained why she was like this.  It turns out she was catching a cold.  She had a slight sore throat and a bit of the sniffles.  I thought it was no big deal and assumed it was allergies.  The poor kid went to visit her grand parents at their farm for the weekend and came back looking miserable and she had a fever.  So she missed Monday school and had a bit of homework to deal with yesterday.  I sent a note with her to excuse her due to illness.  with a copy for her teacher and one for the office.  The one to the teacher may not be necessary but, as I have learned very well as a former paralegal it is to CYA or cover your ass and have learned that one the hard way.  

This week it is better but, still rough. The up side is at least my husband has not yelled at me. The daughter is still being rude and loosing it when I tell her not right now or no to something then the drama ensues.  UGH!  I really just cant take much more of this.  Yes I know she is sick and perhaps sick of being sick and feeling lousy and I do have sympathy but, on the other hand it is not ok for her to be rude to me and go completely insane when I tell her not right now or maybe later or even no. Not sure how to handle this.  Yesterday I completely lost it and screamed (not very productive or ok for me to do that ) and yelled at her for about 5 min. straight. I felt like the worst mom EVER!  I even had to call a friend long distance to tell her what was going on and she helped me feel better and told me I am not the worst mom.  

 

When her dad comes home he is THE BEST and she listens to him and is hardly rude or difficult with him it just seems to be me. It is sooo fun.  Not.    

Change

14 Aug

Yesterday my daughter started her first day of school.  It has been quiet almost too quiet.  I am almost not sure how to handle this next phase in my life.   I have gone from being the sole care giver/teacher of my child to now giving up the reins to a stranger.  It is strange.  I am still trying to figure out how to handle it.  I did not cry her first day of school.  I admit I came close but, have not cried yet. I probably will sometime soon.  

 

I am relishing the time to do what I want without any interruptions or having to “drag” my poor daughter on any errands that I have to do and want to do without her presence. 

Monday was a very bad start to the day.  My husband got mad at me because I woke up early and did not attempt to wake him or my daughter.  They are for the record hard to wake up without the use of banging pots and pans over their heads or in the same room.  He decided to do this before I even had a chance to get my first cup of coffee in me.   To say that words were spoken that were not kind would be an understatement.  Everything is fine now.  

Tuesday my daughter decided to say that I was faking my injury to my foot.  To say that I was more than mad about this statement is well an understatement.  I was almost glad that she would be starting school the next day. 

Really happy

6 Aug

Today my daughter had her Kindergarden screening and according to the teacher she did really well.  I am so proud of my daughter.   She took her first test and didnt freeze like I normally do.  

I also did a good thing I sent a check to my friend who was needing some exercise.  I sent her a check enough to cover 8 months of membership at a pool for her exercises.  I really hope it helps.  I texted her very early this morning and forgot about the time difference.  I asked her how much it would cost and she let me know.  I told her that since I have not sent her a birthday present or holiday present in awhile I would pay for 6 months worth then I included enough to cover 8 months.  I really hope this helps her with being more mobile.  Love my friends and will do what I can for them to help them out.  So happy I did this for her.  It is a good day.  

Weekend and other news

5 Aug

I have been doing my best to reconnect with friends that I left behind since my move.  It has been hard to keep in touch even with email.  So I have been calling them one a weekend.  Just to chat, say hi and hopefully catchup.  I talked with a friend who let me know that via email she has been having difficulties walking and has gained a lot of weight because she can not be as active as she once was.  Does anyone have any suggestions that I can pass on to her?  I did suggest biking, walking or yoga.  I know she needs to be active to take the weight off so that way her joints can recover a bit hopefully.  

The hubby and I went on our first date since before the move.  It has been hard to get back into having a date night.  We went out to dinner and a movie and I got to see Guardians of the Galaxy.  I really liked Groot and Rocky.  They were my favorite characters.  It is a good movie.  

This weekend we got rid of more trash and ick from the basement.  We got rid of moldy goodness from the basement.  I got rid of more junk and stuff from the garage mainly in the form of old stained carpeting.  Whew will I be glad when the only thing we put to the curb is our garbage canI.  I will feel so much better.

 That is all that is new for now.  Please post comments on exercise suggestions for my friend.  Thanks.  

Ouch

1 Aug

Well Monday I did a crazy thing.  My Achilles tendon was already pi**ed off and upset with me for not taking the rest that I needed.  I totally wretched it when I caught my foot on the lower step to the basement and tried to do a face plant with laundry in my arms.  It was not as bad as when I broke my finger I only was nausous and cried.  I did not cuss.  So it was a bit of progress.  

 

I have been doing a lot of R & R which has just about killed me.  I am not used to doing nothing.  I also used RICE or Rest Ice Compression and Elevation.  Along with crutches (I have discovered I absolutely hate them) because they are very hard to prop up somewhere.  Just when you think you have them propped up and are not going to move BAM they have crashed to the floor, knocked the plant off the counter and shattered the pot.  These all happened at the worst possible time.  

Today it is much better I can now hobble around again on it.  I have decided to ditch the crutches today just to see how I do.  I have also been using a lot of frozen veggies and an ace wrap for it.  

Unpacking has been put on hold for now. Hope to get back to it soon as well as getting rid of the clutter both my own and what has been left for me to deal with.  

 

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